7 Ways To Relax More When Being Eaten Out
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You’re definitely not alone in feeling uncomfortable receiving oral. Women are socialized to believe that our genitals are gross, smelly, weird, icky, and ugly, so it’s not surprising that you feel self-conscious when your boyfriend's face is literally all up in your business!
There are lots of factors that can get in the way of your oral enjoyment, so here are seven strategies to help yourself develop a healthier relationship with cunnilingus:
1. Know That Your Body Is Beautiful
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It takes time to let go of all the crap we women have to deal with when it comes to our bodies, but please know that your genitals are beautiful just the way they are. Seriously. Your boyfriend is choosing to keep going down on you, so he obviously feels the same way.
If it makes you feel more comfortable, you can always try wiping down with an unscented baby wipe beforehand (but again, this isn’t necessary; you taste just great!). You can also try experimenting with different pubic hair styles to see what makes you feel the most sexy. Think of it as pampering yourself!
2. Find Ways To Connect During Oral
A lot of women find receiving oral to be a lonely experience. Your partner is all the way down there, and you’re basically chilling on the pillows by yourself.
If you find yourself feeling disconnected, try asking your boyfriend to hold your hand, or stroke other parts of your body like your breasts or your stomach. You can also ask him to make eye contact with you, or talk to you. Or he can come up for air and kiss your mouth, neck, and breasts.
You can also experiment with different positions, like sitting on the edge of the bed with your feet on the floor, and him kneeling in between your legs. This position has the added bonus of being way more comfortable for him.
HEY! Remember to check out Guide for Women; How To Orgasm Every Time I’ll show you step by step how to orgasm and know what you want during sex.
3. Learn How To Give Feedback
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You may be feeling like you have to know exactly what you want, and that you have to give your boyfriend precise and specific directions when he’s going down on you. That doesn’t have to be the case! I would encourage you and your boyfriend to think of giving feedback during oral sex instead of directions. Instead of trying to come up with what you want beforehand, focus more on what feels good in the moment. Keep it simple by saying things like “faster,” “slower,” “harder,” and “softer.”
You can also use A/B testing to help hone in on what feels good. Have your boyfriend try two different licking techniques (like side to side, then up and down), then tell him which one feels better. Then have him try two different levels of pressure, or two different speeds. Picking one option out of two is a lot easier and less intimidating than trying to come up with your own instructions out of thin air!
You might also want to broaden your oral sex vocabulary and skill set by reading a sexual technique book together.
4. Focus On The Sensation Of Receiving
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It’s so rare in life that we get the opportunity to lay back and just receive, and it can feel jarring when that’s all you need to do.
To help yourself stay more present in the moment, try telling yourself, “all I have to do right now is receive” or “I give myself permission to be the center of attention.”
You can also simply try focusing on the sensations you’re feeling. Imagine what your boyfriend’s tongue and lips look like swirling around your labia and clitoris. Try to pinpoint exactly where on your body feels good.
5. Don’t Get Perfectionistic About It
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It’s impossible to be fully present 100 percent of the time. Let’s get real — it’s hard to feel present for longer than 10-20 seconds at a time! Lots of women beat themselves up for getting distracted during oral sex, but it’s simply impossible not to. Your thoughts are going to drift, so instead of trying to force yourself not to think about anything else, take a second to acknowledge your wandering mind, and gently try to refocus on what’s going on in the present moment.
HEY! Remember to check out Guide for Women; How To Orgasm Every Time I’ll show you step by step how to orgasm and know what you want during sex.
6. Talk About It
Communication is so crucial to good sex. Tell your boyfriend that you’re having a hard time letting go during oral sex, and ask him to tell you what he likes about going down on you. Hearing him say, “you taste so good” or “I love the way your skin feels on my mouth” might help you feel more relaxed when he starts working his way down beneath the covers.
I’d also suggest gently requesting that he stop asking the dreaded “what do you want me to do?” question. I don’t think there’s any other question more universally despised by women during sex! Tell him, “when you ask me that question, it just sends me up in my head and makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong.”
Suggest trying the A/B testing method together, or come up with sneaky ways to let him know that he’s on the right track (for example, you’ll pull his hair when you want more pressure, or you’ll stroke his shoulder when you want him to go slower). [Read Goddess of Sex; Sexually Driving Your Man Crazy]
7. Accept Your Likes And Dislikes
If you try these tips and still don’t enjoy having his head between your legs, that’s perfectly OK! There are lots of women who just don’t like oral sex. Your sexual likes and dislikes are part of what makes you you, and there’s nothing wrong with not liking oral, if that's truly how you feel.
Luckily below (in guide number 1) you’ll find all the steps you need to orgasm and know what you want during sex
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1. Guide for Women; How To Orgasm Every Time
MORE DETAILS & INSIDE PAGES ON HERE
Nothing feels more wonderful than having an orgasm. That’s why this guide was I created every girl should learn how to have intense orgasms, whether they are clitoral and vaginal orgasms, two types of orgasm that women commonly report having. And whether you are alone or with your man. This straight-forward guide can help you explore sexual skills mainly orgasm.....
2. I am not a Starfish: A Female Step by Step Guide to Actively Participate During Sex
MORE DETAILS & INSIDE PAGES ON HERE
Finally here are the simplified steps to enchant and surprise your man in bed, completely driving him wild. I am going to teach you exactly how to talk dirty to your man so that you can build sexual tension, keep him deeply attracted to you. Remember dependence on male thrusting alone to reach the heights of erotic glory is like trying to win a foot race on one leg. This guide will show you how the penis can be fondled, caressed, griped, massaged, milked, licked, inundated and rippled as a whole or in sections using only the vagina
3. Penis Massage; Complete Guide into Pleasuring Him with Your Hands
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MORE DETAILS & INSIDE PAGES ON HERE
This book is ideal for the mere pleasure of finally making his penis happy without penetration or where penetration is not possible. It gives you core essential techniques to get your man excited, I don’t think that ANY MAN would be able to resist the pleasures that this type of approach triggers. These techniques are so powerful and so unknown by the vast majority out there.
4. Affectionate sex positions Over 100 Illustrated
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Affectionate sex positions Over 100 Illustrated Instructs readers on how to bring their partners to high levels of arousal, mutually satisfying each other. It is the perfect manual for couples looking for new ideas to vary and expand their sexual repertoire. Illustrated with tasteful, erotic photography and showing how to use specific sexual techniques, positions, styles and tips to boost love making this is the ideal book for lovers.
5. Tease Ride Please; Sexually Satisfying Him
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This book is a profound contribution to the entire spectrum of lovemaking that yields a new erotic universe. Dependence on male thrusting alone to reach the heights of erotic glory is like trying to win a foot race on one leg. Did you know that the penis can be fondled, caressed, griped, massaged, milked, licked, inundated and rippled as a whole or in sections using only the vagina?
6. Goddess of Sex; Sexually Driving Your Man Crazy
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This book will hold nothing back, so strap yourself in — it's going to be a bumpy and grindy ride. And if you're not in a relationship right now, bookmark this page because you'll want to come back to it when you meet someone special.
7. Blowjob Done Right; Pleasing Your Man with Oral Sex
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MORE DETAILS & INSIDE PAGES ON HERE
No sex technique says “I love you” quite the way that a blowjob does.
Some people love performing blowjobs, and some don’t. Many who don’t are not confident of their skills. In some cases, they’ve been with a lover (or lovers) who didn’t respond to their oral ministrations. Giving blowjobs is a learned skill; and you can learn it. I will show you how to take your partner someplace they have maybe never been before.
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